True or false, all up to you.

Quoted from the article "Kahwin Cara Melayu atau Kahwin Cara Islam?". ( Click here for the whole article )

''Kalau anda lelaki, anda mesti ingin berikan segala yang terbaik untuk bakal isteri anda.

Dan, kalau anda perempuan seperti saya, semestinya inginkan hantaran yang tinggi (lulusan ijazah sekarang, hantaran RM10K ke atas). Perlu tidak?

Maaf perempuan, kalau terasa. Saya bukan jual diri, saya tidak perlukan hantaran RM10-20K. Saya tidak letak harga untuk nilai diri sendiri dan harga cinta saya. Ini masalah kalau kita kahwin cara Melayu; bukan cara Islam.

Saya perempuan lulusan ijazah, saya ada tulang 4 kerat, dan saya boleh berusaha, kenapa perlu mengharap dengan lelaki? Suami bukan untuk dibebani, tapi untuk disenangi. Isteri bukan untuk dibeli, tapi untuk dikasihi.

Kos kahwin sekarang paling rendah pun RM20K serba serbi. Hantaran, majlis, belum baju, pelamin. Tapi cuba fikir, perlu tidak? Baju raya kan masih ada, cantik lagi. Kasut raya pun masih baru.

Kenapa perlu buat majlis di hotel, dewan orang ramai kan ada? Kalau rasa sangat mahal untuk katering, boleh upah orang masak, tinggal sediakan bahan dan peralatan. Bersanding tak perlu, buat penat badan duduk macam tunggul depan orang.

“Seganlah. Nanti orang kata apa.”

“Isk, buat malu belajar tinggi-tinggi, tak dapat hantaran.”

Hai, ni mentaliti Barat. Bagi yang beragama Islam, ingat rukun nikah.

Tanggungjawab selepas kahwin yang penting. Lebih baik duit sewa pelamin jadi duit persiapan untuk anak pertama. Prioritikan penggunaan duit anda. Kos bersalin bukan murah. Kalau di hospital kerajaan, paling kurang perlu ada RM400-500. Tapi di hospital swasta, minimum RM2000. Kos ada anak sangat tinggi sekarang.''

Well, I have to agree with that.
A well-managed marriage is not based on how much money you have, or what you will give for hantaran.
How much should the hantaran be for it to be enough?
It's always the more the better. Man can never get enough.

You can have RM10k and a mercedes-benz for hantaran, but in the end you get a husband who beats you up when he is mad, who doesn't even want to talk to you when he is bored of you.

Tepuk dada tanya selera, berbaloi kah?

You can have everything if you have the money,

but money is not everything.

Yes, hantaran is a must,

but the heart is what matters the most.

If your husband's heart is not there with, what's the point if you have all the wealth that you could possibly imagine?

I would say,

people would normally judge each other on the outside, and often miss the inner virtue.

Of course, you can't give your daughter away to a good man who owns nothing. But you can't just give her away to a man who owns everything as well if he is not the one for her. Jual anak ke sekarang?

But still, we have to be realistic. Note the word REALISTIC, not MATERIALISTIC.

We need to have a proper foundation before we start a marriage, a family.

A proper finance, career, house, car etc.

We need to ensure everything is there. Getting married is a huge matter, no jokes.

Back in the 70's, 80's, you could get married even you didn't have a penny.

Just because you could have a bowl of noodles for 5 cents, or a bottle of soda for 3.

Now, things are no longer like that.

5 cents can't even buy a candy now, and everything needs money- bills, diapers, loans, groceries- everything.

Without a good financial base, you are not going anywhere.

That's why, think wisely when you want start a marriage and run a family.

It's fun to start a family, but there are just so many things to be considered.

These are my points of view, at least. :)